








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1623 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




412 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10506 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2048 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 7598 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5018 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,727,890 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eklipz | 50% | 130 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | 48% | 226 |
| #3 | cheesecake | 43% | 83 |
| #4 | ThatCrazyChikin | 43% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eklipz | 50% | 130 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | 48% | 226 |
| #3 | cheesecake | 43% | 83 |
| #4 | ThatCrazyChikin | 43% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eklipz | 21 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | cheesecake | 13 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | ThatCrazyChikin | 7 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eklipz | 535 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | cheesecake | 227 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jim Lahey | 147 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | ThatCrazyChikin | 137 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eklipz | +1.23 | 58 | 66 |
| #2 | deafnhorny | +1.20 | 68 | 32 |
| #3 | cheesecake | -0.81 | 56 | 51 |
| #4 | Jim Lahey | -1.35 | 55 | 41 |
| #5 | ThatCrazyChikin | -1.91 | 64 | 47 |





