








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 962 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




133 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2717 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2532 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5009 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3668 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,774,276 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim Lahey | 944 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | freaky ghast | 557 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | deafnhorny | 299 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | RickyBobby69 | 266 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | FreakMoneyisHard | 179 | 0.05 | 4 min |





