








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 637 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2840 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3217 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2245 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3061 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,950,175 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3090 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SteveSarkesian | 31 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | gravybeck | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | STICKBANNASS | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Vinjetti | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Graig | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STICKBANNASS | 433 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | SteveSarkesian | 203 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Vinjetti | 172 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | llama | 135 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Graig | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SteveSarkesian | +3.82 | 68 | 42 |
| #2 | llama | +1.31 | 52 | 62 |
| #3 | Scheffler | +0.69 | 66 | 30 |
| #4 | gravybeck | +0.33 | 51 | 8 |
| #5 | HoneyJack | -0.14 | 19 | 28 |





