








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7782 | 41% |
| Smokes | 5360 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4680 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1361 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,919 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Cangrejo | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | 53% | 385 |
| #3 | ✿Genita✿ | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | ♛Ariel24K♛ | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | M∀sTeʁ✘Z | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Cangrejo | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | 53% | 385 |
| #3 | ✿Genita✿ | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | ♛Ariel24K♛ | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | M∀sTeʁ✘Z | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | 110 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | ♛Ariel24K♛ | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Don Cangrejo | 7 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | M∀sTeʁ✘Z | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | ✿Genita✿ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | 2365 | 0.32 | 65 min |
| #2 | ♛Ariel24K♛ | 206 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | M∀sTeʁ✘Z | 143 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Don Cangrejo | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✿Genita✿ | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | +7.72 | 70 | 73 |
| #2 | Don Cangrejo | +2.17 | 51 | 56 |
| #3 | ✿Genita✿ | +0.38 | 32 | 59 |
| #4 | M∀sTeʁ✘Z | -1.25 | 41 | 59 |
| #5 | ♛Ariel24K♛ | -3.41 | 20 | 64 |





