








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 799 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3250 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5446 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5509 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4961 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,454,833 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FakeNine | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | eVo. Joven Charles | 55% | 193 |
| #3 | ☬ TRY-HARD ☬--> | 54% | 76 |
| #4 | Boxxy! | 54% | 136 |
| #5 | Don Cangrejo | 48% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Boxxy! | 54% | 136 |
| #5 | Don Cangrejo | 48% | 252 |
| #6 | ♛Ariel24K♛ | 46% | 82 |
| #7 | ✿Genita✿ | 46% | 89 |
| #8 | 'UnaTalMaaru' | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Cangrejo | 25 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | ☬ TRY-HARD ☬--> | 22 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | eVo. Joven Charles | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | ♛Ariel24K♛ | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Boxxy! | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eVo. Joven Charles | 750 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Don Cangrejo | 470 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | ♛Ariel24K♛ | 322 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | 'UnaTalMaaru' | 297 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Boxxy! | 283 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☬ TRY-HARD ☬--> | +3.17 | 64 | 51 |
| #2 | eVo. Joven Charles | +2.77 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | Don Cangrejo | +1.33 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | FakeNine | +0.52 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | Boxxy! | +0.12 | 66 | 61 |





