








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 590 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15023 | 42% |
| Smokes | 8891 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8680 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3536 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,260 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 667 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soul ReaperZ^G0DL1KE | 30 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | mYnna | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | CAKE❤️LILITH | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | [VND]Splif | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Optimus Crime | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soul ReaperZ^G0DL1KE | 1319 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #2 | TipytoeHippo | 544 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | Optimus Crime | 332 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #4 | CAKE❤️LILITH | 228 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | [VND]Splif | 203 | 0.09 | 5 min |





