








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3911 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3761 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4214 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1771 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,818 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScumbagFizz | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Limdanski | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | FLynN | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | doOb | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Fork | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fork | 52% | 42 |
| #6 | ComeGetSome | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | sohyb | 51% | 63 |
| #8 | bumhead | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | Sneaky Beaky like ;) | 44% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneaky Beaky like ;) | 85 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | doOb | 9 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Fork | 8 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | sohyb | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | ScumbagFizz | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneaky Beaky like ;) | 284 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | sohyb | 169 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fork | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | doOb | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | ComeGetSome | 95 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLynN | +2.78 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | Sneaky Beaky like ;) | +2.05 | 85 | 54 |
| #3 | ScumbagFizz | +2.01 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | doOb | +1.84 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | Fork | +0.33 | 68 | 49 |





