








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1790 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2290 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 784 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2163 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,999 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doylrr | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | bob the gas engineer | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | ScumbagFizz | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Limdanski | 54% | 82 |
| #5 | Sneaky Beaky like ;) | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | bumhead | 48% | 75 |
| #10 | sohyb | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | Tissueee | 41% | 46 |
| #12 | doOb | 40% | 65 |
| #13 | kush | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kush | 10 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | doOb | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | DaleBM | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ScumbagFizz | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | ComeGetSome | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ComeGetSome | 242 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | doOb | 216 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Limdanski | 208 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | DaleBM | 148 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | bob the gas engineer | 102 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLynN | +2.94 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | Tissueee | +2.62 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | doOb | +0.44 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | Sneaky Beaky like ;) | +0.25 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | ScumbagFizz | -0.20 | 83 | 47 |





