








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1555 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1578 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1822 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1492 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,230,777 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 53% | 40 |
| #7 | Hyperixn | 52% | 88 |
| #8 | D✠D | 51% | 118 |
| #9 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | .dwg | 40% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D✠D | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Daichi | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Se Acabo | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | .dwg | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D✠D | 335 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | .dwg | 288 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Daichi | 227 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hyperixn | 220 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 137 | 0.17 | 4 min |





