








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 714 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1149 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2150 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1060 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1316 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,153,108 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PillowHunter | 48% | 129 |
| #2 | vedexi | 47% | 171 |
| #3 | Aksu | 46% | 65 |
| #4 | obbe | 43% | 111 |
| #5 | SigmaCake (Peksin poju) | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | vedexi | 47% | 171 |
| #3 | Aksu | 46% | 65 |
| #4 | obbe | 43% | 111 |
| #5 | SigmaCake (Peksin poju) | 43% | 58 |
| #6 | sigmaeeki | 27% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vedexi | 20 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | obbe | 17 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | PillowHunter | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | SigmaCake (Peksin poju) | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | sigmaeeki | 7 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vedexi | 587 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | PillowHunter | 547 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Aksu | 289 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | obbe | 247 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | SigmaCake (Peksin poju) | 153 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aksu | +2.59 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | PillowHunter | +1.69 | 61 | 58 |
| #3 | vedexi | +0.05 | 67 | 51 |
| #4 | BETAKLAKE | -0.10 | 42 | 46 |
| #5 | obbe | -0.20 | 34 | 63 |





