








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 303 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5345 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5121 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4821 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4433 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,516,874 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ellemby | 55% | 102 |
| #6 | Sweet Beef | 54% | 50 |
| #7 | LukeRH9 | 53% | 43 |
| #8 | ✪ Zwae | 53% | 73 |
| #9 | nevettbrad | 46% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | it | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Mouth Breather | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Ellemby | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | nevettbrad | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Sweet Beef | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellemby | 444 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Mouth Breather | 386 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | it | 337 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✪ Zwae | 212 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sweet Beef | 172 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellemby | +2.69 | 66 | 78 |
| #2 | LukeRH9 | +1.65 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | Big Hustin | +1.01 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | Boose | +0.47 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | Mouth Breather | +0.34 | 68 | 55 |





