








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Faceit | 207 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3204 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3334 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4518 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4542 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,574,056 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boose | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | ✪ Zwae | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | LukeRH9 | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Ellemby | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | Big Hustin | 56% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LukeRH9 | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Ellemby | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | Big Hustin | 56% | 216 |
| #6 | it | 53% | 87 |
| #7 | Sweet Beef | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Hustin | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | it | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Ellemby | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Sweet Beef | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Boose | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Hustin | 920 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Ellemby | 304 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | it | 208 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sweet Beef | 156 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ Zwae | 154 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellemby | +2.90 | 66 | 79 |
| #2 | LukeRH9 | +2.27 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Mouth Breather | +1.58 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | Big Hustin | +0.42 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | Boose | +0.17 | 65 | 57 |





