








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2517 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1183 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2521 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2329 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,203 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleGuy | 60% | 125 |
| #2 | Big Bencer | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Fizzgig | 59% | 63 |
| #4 | TAZ | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | BreadsDead | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleGuy | 60% | 125 |
| #2 | Big Bencer | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Fizzgig | 59% | 63 |
| #4 | TAZ | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | BreadsDead | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleGuy | 13 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Fizzgig | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | TAZ | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Big Bencer | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleGuy | 168 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fizzgig | 167 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | TAZ | 29 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Big Bencer | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | BreadsDead | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleGuy | +3.63 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | Fizzgig | +1.65 | 56 | 63 |
| #3 | White Barack Obama | -0.11 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | TAZ | -0.86 | 58 | 39 |
| #5 | BreadsDead | -2.00 | 72 | 24 |





