








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2954 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2217 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2715 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 729 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,125 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleGuy | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | TAZ | 7 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Big Bencer | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | White Barack Obama | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | vicnoodle | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleGuy | 377 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | White Barack Obama | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Big Bencer | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | vicnoodle | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | TAZ | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleGuy | +2.58 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | Fizzgig | +0.04 | 51 | 64 |
| #3 | vicnoodle | -0.52 | 62 | 51 |
| #4 | White Barack Obama | -0.61 | 80 | 49 |
| #5 | TAZ | -2.28 | 59 | 33 |





