








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5539 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4338 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5618 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4410 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,496,253 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 503 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♠Gl1̡͢t́͟c̷h͠͡♠ | 51% | 98 |
| #2 | Jokse | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | Cara5 | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | Vaitiekus | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | Minime | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minime | 31 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Binky | 20 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Dzioniskis | 19 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Igac | 17 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | P0!nT | 16 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Igac | 320 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dzioniskis | 230 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | ♠Gl1̡͢t́͟c̷h͠͡♠ | 190 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Grazas | 177 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cara5 | 159 | 0.17 | 5 min |





