










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3734 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3848 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3061 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3439 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,536 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClutchMandela | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Lucky zLayZz | 71% | 42 |
| #3 | ClutchManda|Tobias | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | Xyn0 | 64% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClutchMandela | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Lucky zLayZz | 71% | 42 |
| #3 | ClutchManda|Tobias | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | Xyn0 | 64% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xyn0 | 10 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Lucky zLayZz | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | ClutchMandela | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ClutchManda|Tobias | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky zLayZz | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Xyn0 | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | ClutchManda|Tobias | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | ClutchMandela | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClutchManda|Tobias | +6.19 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | Lucky zLayZz | +5.73 | 92 | 76 |
| #3 | Xyn0 | +5.16 | 94 | 51 |
| #4 | ClutchMandela | +5.10 | 90 | 69 |
| #5 | EliotCantor | -1.62 | 46 | 55 |





