








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1607 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1344 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1263 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 846 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,502 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaffe | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Hampo | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | eLoN mOiSt | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | [MM]Mais | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | zb0t | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | zb0t | 52% | 64 |
| #6 | Klypa | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | Hay_Hay | 49% | 63 |
| #8 | Pay_Hay | 48% | 87 |
| #9 | Plainy | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pay_Hay | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | zb0t | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | eLoN mOiSt | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Hampo | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Hay_Hay | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zb0t | 180 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Pay_Hay | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hay_Hay | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | eLoN mOiSt | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Plainy | 108 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pay_Hay | +1.99 | 48 | 64 |
| #2 | Klypa | +1.47 | 59 | 65 |
| #3 | zb0t | +1.26 | 62 | 62 |
| #4 | Jaffe | +0.27 | 49 | 73 |
| #5 | Hay_Hay | +0.12 | 46 | 64 |





