








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 847 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Esplay | 38 matches | 1,706 | |
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5278 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4415 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5599 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4477 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,101,805 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomaly | 75% | 108 |
| #2 | 76561197985242024 | 71% | 34 |
| #3 | banandan | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | eLoN mOiSt | 58% | 481 |
| #5 | SALTTOO | 58% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eLoN mOiSt | 26 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Jaffe | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Klypa | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | SALTTOO | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | zb0t | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eLoN mOiSt | 1238 | 0.12 | 39 min |
| #2 | zb0t | 1043 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #3 | Jaffe | 899 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #4 | Klypa | 386 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Sideswip3r | 382 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomaly | +7.32 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | 76561197985242024 | +3.06 | 58 | 73 |
| #3 | BlackBeLt | +1.60 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | SALTTOO | +1.24 | 77 | 69 |
| #5 | Sideswip3r | +0.95 | 65 | 70 |





