








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 566 | 27% |
| Smokes | 316 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 578 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,793 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | special k | 72% | 103 |
| #7 | EdgeG | 71% | 65 |
| #8 | ·wheelchair· | 58% | 12 |
| #9 | Mist Vi | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | v | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | special k | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | EdgeG | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | | 4 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | 😵R₨⌶⌶ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | .ePT Tayco | 3 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | special k | 309 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | 😵R₨⌶⌶ | 206 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | EdgeG | 134 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | | 58 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | .ePT Tayco | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |





