








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




273 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4523 | 58% |
| Smokes | 893 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1181 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1173 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,806 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1936 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banan | 61% | 87 |
| #2 | Pluto | 58% | 62 |
| #3 | Khan Baba | 57% | 251 |
| #4 | i am s1mple dimple | 51% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banan | 61% | 87 |
| #2 | Pluto | 58% | 62 |
| #3 | Khan Baba | 57% | 251 |
| #4 | i am s1mple dimple | 51% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khan Baba | 159 | 0.0346 |
| #2 | Banan | 65 | 0.0410 |
| #3 | Pluto | 35 | 0.0300 |
| #4 | i am s1mple dimple | 25 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khan Baba | 862 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | Banan | 196 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | i am s1mple dimple | 184 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pluto | 143 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casper Krause | +3.47 | 62 | 51 |
| #2 | i am s1mple dimple | +2.28 | 44 | 38 |
| #3 | Khan Baba | +1.02 | 39 | 47 |
| #4 | Banan | +0.46 | 9 | 23 |
| #5 | Pluto | -0.75 | 33 | 25 |





