








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 276 | 20% |
| Smokes | 315 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 435 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 381 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $27,705 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | costco hotdog | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | TetumTede | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Tlgpro | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Mr.PapaSmoke 🦄 | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | YummyBumFingers | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | GP⭐ | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | Globalik | 50% | 14 |
| #11 | Louj. | 43% | 7 |
| #12 | 76561198856864625 | 33% | 3 |
| #13 | Clarky | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tlgpro | 5 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Mike | 3 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Clarky | 3 | 0.0166 |
| #4 | YummyBumFingers | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Globalik | 2 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globalik | 74 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tlgpro | 55 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Clarky | 45 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mike | 41 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | jack | 28 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | costco hotdog | +8.14 | 98 | 55 |
| #2 | chickendippers | +4.94 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | Clarky | +2.31 | 78 | 55 |
| #4 | Mike | +0.74 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | YummyBumFingers | +0.05 | 80 | 52 |





