










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10202 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8091 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 9380 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7614 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,138,257 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3024 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redneck Jesus | 58% | 304 |
| #2 | Alude | 58% | 478 |
| #3 | Jest | 52% | 137 |
| #4 | fanduel pharaoh | 46% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redneck Jesus | 58% | 304 |
| #2 | Alude | 58% | 478 |
| #3 | Jest | 52% | 137 |
| #4 | fanduel pharaoh | 46% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redneck Jesus | 56 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Alude | 31 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | fanduel pharaoh | 29 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | Jest | 10 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redneck Jesus | 726 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Jest | 564 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | Alude | 530 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #4 | fanduel pharaoh | 74 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jest | +4.34 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | fanduel pharaoh | +3.44 | 69 | 33 |
| #3 | Redneck Jesus | +0.80 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | Angusbeefy | +0.08 | 68 | 36 |
| #5 | Alude | +0.03 | 55 | 43 |





