








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 175 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1274 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1750 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1793 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1884 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,902 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loaf | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Townleyyy | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | C-Dot xD | 53% | 90 |
| #4 | LarK- | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | mojo | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loaf | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Townleyyy | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | C-Dot xD | 53% | 90 |
| #4 | LarK- | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | mojo | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C-Dot xD | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Townleyyy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | mojo | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C-Dot xD | 264 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Townleyyy | 185 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | mojo | 69 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | LarK- | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Loaf | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loaf | +2.97 | 54 | 62 |
| #2 | LarK- | +0.69 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | SyhR | +0.01 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | mojo | -0.07 | 78 | 44 |
| #5 | C-Dot xD | -0.18 | 69 | 63 |





