








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 168 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1621 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2700 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1365 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1640 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,607 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Townleyyy | 54% | 113 |
| #2 | SyhR | 53% | 90 |
| #3 | Loaf | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Desyia | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | LarK- | 45% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Loaf | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Desyia | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | LarK- | 45% | 78 |
| #6 | ♔BM4D♔ | 39% | 18 |
| #7 | mojo | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LarK- | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Townleyyy | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SyhR | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | mojo | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Townleyyy | 248 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | LarK- | 163 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | SyhR | 116 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | mojo | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Loaf | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔BM4D♔ | +0.72 | 85 | 51 |
| #2 | SyhR | +0.48 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | C-Dot xD | -0.24 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Loaf | -0.26 | 44 | 65 |
| #5 | Townleyyy | -0.34 | 55 | 60 |





