








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 758 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7820 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10173 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4989 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6429 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,943,517 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2789 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D | 69% | 68 |
| #2 | miSm | 54% | 158 |
| #3 | James.uK | 53% | 219 |
| #4 | cripto_MAN | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | astonex | 52% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D | 69% | 68 |
| #2 | miSm | 54% | 158 |
| #3 | James.uK | 53% | 219 |
| #4 | cripto_MAN | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | astonex | 52% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James.uK | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | astonex | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | miSm | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | cripto_MAN | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | D | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James.uK | 1003 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | astonex | 656 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | miSm | 516 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | D | 171 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | cripto_MAN | 71 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James.uK | +1.10 | 63 | 70 |
| #2 | exie v2 | +1.04 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | astonex | +0.07 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | miSm | -1.10 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | cripto_MAN | -2.27 | 21 | 50 |





