








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1767 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3150 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2043 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2176 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,234,477 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grumpyoldgamer | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | X_user | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | SvenTheSkull | 40% | 45 |
| #4 | >THG< ♛ ♛ Thompá ♛ ♛ | 39% | 156 |
| #5 | L1ON | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >THG< ♛ ♛ Thompá ♛ ♛ | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | TheWolf | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Brorsson | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Jen | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Evee | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >THG< ♛ ♛ Thompá ♛ ♛ | 457 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zippit | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | TheWolf | 77 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ThaKing | 60 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Grumpyoldgamer | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X_user_junior | +1.50 | 39 | 41 |
| #2 | SvenTheSkull | +1.29 | 24 | 49 |
| #3 | >THG< ♛ ♛ Thompá ♛ ♛ | -0.50 | 61 | 54 |
| #4 | X_user | -0.56 | 26 | 34 |
| #5 | ThaKing | -0.69 | 64 | 57 |





