








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 953 | |
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1780 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5188 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2098 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2712 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,902,667 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Zippit | 37% | 208 |
| #12 | ThaKing | 36% | 39 |
| #13 | Gotu | 33% | 30 |
| #14 | GOtu | 29% | 38 |
| #15 | Evee | 23% | 43 |





