








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 18% |
| Smokes | 228 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 591 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 626 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,060 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flux | 57% | 74 |
| #2 | νιяυѕ | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | ImDallas | 48% | 104 |
| #4 | NeverSatisfried | 46% | 183 |
| #5 | jefedubois | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | 21 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ImDallas | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Flux | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Exia | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | νιяυѕ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | 629 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | ImDallas | 575 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #3 | Flux | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Exia | 120 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | frank_low_jaeger | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | +6.85 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Flux | +2.64 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | Exia | +1.48 | 46 | 54 |
| #4 | νιяυѕ | +0.59 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | ImDallas | -0.49 | 42 | 80 |





