








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6332 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5301 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2854 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3417 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,695 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nebula | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | frank_low_jaeger | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | NeverSatisfried | 59% | 266 |
| #4 | ImDallas | 59% | 80 |
| #5 | Exia | 57% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ImDallas | 59% | 80 |
| #5 | Exia | 57% | 56 |
| #6 | ShinyPenguin | 57% | 74 |
| #7 | νιяυѕ | 56% | 68 |
| #8 | boogie⭕⃤ | 55% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | 27 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | νιяυѕ | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ImDallas | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Exia | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | boogie⭕⃤ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | 1011 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | ImDallas | 452 | 0.30 | 12 min |
| #3 | Nebula | 122 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | Exia | 118 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | frank_low_jaeger | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | +4.63 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | Nebula | +1.66 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | νιяυѕ | +0.94 | 72 | 46 |
| #4 | Flux | +0.82 | 57 | 67 |
| #5 | ImDallas | -0.06 | 48 | 79 |





