








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3930 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3053 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3038 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3463 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,584,333 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spongebob | 55% | 102 |
| #2 | IC3PAK | 53% | 102 |
| #3 | Treuil | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Gary the snail | 48% | 193 |
| #5 | Table Basse | 46% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Table Basse | 46% | 130 |
| #6 | Sandy | 46% | 150 |
| #7 | Patrick | 44% | 77 |
| #8 | IMX | 42% | 106 |
| #9 | Bzez | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary the snail | 25 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Sandy | 16 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Spongebob | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Patrick | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Table Basse | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandy | 599 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | Table Basse | 392 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Spongebob | 280 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | IC3PAK | 267 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Treuil | 266 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treuil | +3.01 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Table Basse | +2.05 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | IC3PAK | +1.28 | 65 | 65 |
| #4 | Patrick | +0.26 | 51 | 47 |
| #5 | Spongebob | +0.12 | 40 | 60 |





