








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3042 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2151 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 648 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1528 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $889,567 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treuil | 58% | 78 |
| #2 | Spongebob | 51% | 59 |
| #3 | Patrick | 49% | 114 |
| #4 | Table Basse | 46% | 142 |
| #5 | lelongduzob | 46% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lelongduzob | 46% | 150 |
| #6 | IMX | 44% | 45 |
| #7 | Gary the snail | 44% | 84 |
| #8 | Bzez | 38% | 47 |
| #9 | IC3PAK | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lelongduzob | 16 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Table Basse | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Gary the snail | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Treuil | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Patrick | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lelongduzob | 416 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Table Basse | 381 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Treuil | 352 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Patrick | 203 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bzez | 147 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treuil | +3.19 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | Table Basse | +1.44 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | IC3PAK | +0.73 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Patrick | +0.20 | 58 | 47 |
| #5 | Spongebob | -0.09 | 39 | 59 |





