








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 28% |
| Smokes | 270 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 984 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 772 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,921 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petain.net | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | WeZnokX | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Law' | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Glaf | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | hunts | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | WeZnokX | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Law' | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Glaf | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | hunts | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | atomkern | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glaf | 18 | 0.0196 |
| #2 | hunts | 18 | 0.0453 |
| #3 | atomkern | 12 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Law' | 6 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | WeZnokX | 6 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atomkern | 308 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Glaf | 104 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | hunts | 64 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Law' | 26 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | WeZnokX | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petain.net | +4.04 | 97 | 52 |
| #2 | WeZnokX | +3.27 | 84 | 48 |
| #3 | hunts | +2.35 | 50 | 49 |
| #4 | Law' | +1.33 | 87 | 39 |
| #5 | atomkern | +0.36 | 42 | 60 |





