








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4560 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4560 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2946 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3146 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,863 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3015 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petain.net | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | Prostration | 54% | 95 |
| #3 | Glaf | 47% | 245 |
| #4 | Law' | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | SSG 08 | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Glaf | 47% | 245 |
| #4 | Law' | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | SSG 08 | 44% | 63 |
| #6 | WeZnokX | 44% | 43 |
| #7 | hunts | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glaf | 55 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | SSG 08 | 18 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | hunts | 17 | 0.0186 |
| #4 | Law' | 16 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | WeZnokX | 10 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glaf | 616 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Prostration | 225 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | SSG 08 | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | hunts | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | petain.net | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petain.net | +4.52 | 97 | 45 |
| #2 | Law' | +2.86 | 85 | 42 |
| #3 | WeZnokX | +1.54 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | Prostration | +1.50 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | hunts | +0.99 | 60 | 42 |





