








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 468 | 16% |
| Smokes | 907 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 947 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 689 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,964 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bitphlip | 57% | 149 |
| #4 | Dr1b_ | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | Sh4d0w | 53% | 32 |
| #6 | VIGZAC | 51% | 94 |
| #7 | martinz106 | 49% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIGZAC | 23 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | martinz106 | 19 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | bitphlip | 18 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Sh4d0w | 17 | 0.0262 |
| #5 | Dr1b_ | 5 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bitphlip | 209 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | VIGZAC | 181 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | martinz106 | 167 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Storm | 153 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sh4d0w | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |





