








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Wingman | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




134 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2950 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2900 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2018 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1727 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,958 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bitphlipphar | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Baby Yoda | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | bitphlip | 52% | 182 |
| #4 | VIGZAC | 52% | 58 |
| #5 | BIGFATKURT | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bitphlip | 271 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | BIGFATKURT | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | VIGZAC | 86 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | martinz106 | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dr1b_ | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bitphlip | +3.36 | 64 | 36 |
| #2 | Sh4d0w | +1.76 | 60 | 40 |
| #3 | bitphlipphar | +1.64 | 72 | 33 |
| #4 | BIGFATKURT | -0.12 | 69 | 48 |
| #5 | Baby Yoda | -0.56 | 46 | 32 |





