








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 712 | 52% |
| Smokes | 217 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 75 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 377 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,482 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoopystock | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | dadmomyeatmeet | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Stiggy Jr | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | Low taper fade | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | SavageSaynt99 | 52% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Low taper fade | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | SavageSaynt99 | 52% | 75 |
| #6 | NoahC456 | 47% | 91 |
| #7 | PabloThePengui | 44% | 48 |
| #8 | Cooter | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SavageSaynt99 | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Low taper fade | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | snoopystock | 3 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | NoahC456 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Stiggy Jr | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoahC456 | 222 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | SavageSaynt99 | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Low taper fade | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | PabloThePengui | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stiggy Jr | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoahC456 | +3.89 | 43 | 52 |
| #2 | Low taper fade | +1.71 | 29 | 50 |
| #3 | SavageSaynt99 | +0.32 | 58 | 42 |
| #4 | Stiggy Jr | -0.11 | 36 | 19 |
| #5 | dadmomyeatmeet | -0.18 | 33 | 10 |





