








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 168 | 12% |
| Smokes | 343 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 301 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 606 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,141 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoopystock | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Hubbis | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | BorderJumper896 | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | dadmomyeatmeet | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | NoahC456 | 52% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | NoahC456 | 52% | 162 |
| #6 | Low taper fade | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | SavageSaynt99 | 49% | 201 |
| #8 | PabloThePengui | 48% | 144 |
| #9 | Cooter | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SavageSaynt99 | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | BorderJumper896 | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | dadmomyeatmeet | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Low taper fade | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | NoahC456 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoahC456 | 450 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | SavageSaynt99 | 437 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hubbis | 144 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Low taper fade | 137 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | PabloThePengui | 114 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoahC456 | +2.77 | 40 | 57 |
| #2 | Low taper fade | +1.39 | 33 | 45 |
| #3 | Hubbis | +0.65 | 34 | 43 |
| #4 | dadmomyeatmeet | +0.24 | 32 | 16 |
| #5 | SavageSaynt99 | -0.33 | 56 | 45 |





