








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2613 | 54% |
| Smokes | 786 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 590 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,944 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...


| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() SavageSaynt99 | 55% | 151 |
| #2 | ![]() BorderJumper896 | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | snoopystock | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | ![]() Stiggy Jr | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | NoahC456 | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ![]() Stiggy Jr | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | NoahC456 | 49% | 59 |
| #6 | PabloThePengui | 47% | 62 |
| #7 | dadmomyeatmeet | 47% | 45 |
| #8 | Cooter | 38% | 50 |

| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() SavageSaynt99 | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | snoopystock | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | NoahC456 | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Cooter | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | PabloThePengui | 2 | 0.0016 |

| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() SavageSaynt99 | 277 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | NoahC456 | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | ![]() BorderJumper896 | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | PabloThePengui | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | snoopystock | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoahC456 | +3.15 | 40 | 50 |
| #2 | Low taper fade | +2.49 | 33 | 46 |
| #3 | ![]() SavageSaynt99 | +0.10 | 54 | 42 |
| #4 | PabloThePengui | -0.95 | 34 | 22 |
| #5 | dadmomyeatmeet | -1.60 | 30 | 12 |








