








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1791 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1415 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15480 | 33% |
| Smokes | 13163 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8509 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 9267 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,046,955 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1877 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick | 49% | 86 |
| #2 | osko | 49% | 340 |
| #3 | bolrcln | 48% | 149 |
| #4 | bulzby | 48% | 203 |
| #5 | Waka | 47% | 307 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | osko | 49% | 340 |
| #3 | bolrcln | 48% | 149 |
| #4 | bulzby | 48% | 203 |
| #5 | Waka | 47% | 307 |
| #6 | eminem | 42% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bulzby | 36 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | osko | 25 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Waka | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | eminem | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | bolrcln | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osko | 1499 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | Waka | 736 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | bulzby | 715 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | eminem | 354 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rick | 225 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bulzby | +1.48 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | eminem | +1.42 | 51 | 59 |
| #3 | osko | +1.17 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | The GaltBar | +0.03 | 51 | 52 |
| #5 | bolrcln | -0.51 | 48 | 56 |





