








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 571 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8024 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7771 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5443 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4272 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,793,480 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 485 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | The GaltBar | 48% | 203 |
| #7 | rush a | 47% | 119 |
| #8 | suka blyat | 46% | 56 |
| #9 | PartiZan[^mF] | 46% | 59 |
| #10 | osko | 45% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eminem | 20 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | The GaltBar | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | osko | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Waka | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | d0m | 4 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osko | 996 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | The GaltBar | 728 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Waka | 376 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | eminem | 300 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rick | 121 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rush a | +3.10 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | d0m | +1.37 | 60 | 58 |
| #3 | bulzby | +1.31 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | eminem | +0.50 | 52 | 54 |
| #5 | osko | +0.16 | 66 | 61 |





