








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3101 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3487 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1605 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3264 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $916,045 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waka | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | osko | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | eminem | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | bulzby | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Rick | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | eminem | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | bulzby | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Rick | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | The GaltBar | 48% | 149 |
| #7 | GaltBar | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bulzby | 8 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | The GaltBar | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | osko | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Rick | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Waka | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The GaltBar | 537 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Rick | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | osko | 124 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | bulzby | 94 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | eminem | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eminem | +3.95 | 49 | 52 |
| #2 | osko | +1.54 | 60 | 59 |
| #3 | bulzby | +1.49 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | The GaltBar | +0.28 | 42 | 49 |
| #5 | Rick | +0.19 | 60 | 64 |





