








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 319 | 26% |
| Smokes | 340 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 280 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 296 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,138 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkVenom | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Sneazy | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | f1sh | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | ♥ Penguin ♥ | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | f1shy | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | diejappie | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | RootinTootinPutin | 39% | 66 |
| #8 | Vettie_007 | 39% | 28 |
| #9 | Sythe | 36% | 22 |
| #10 | WingNut | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vettie_007 | 7 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | RootinTootinPutin | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Sneazy | 5 | 0.0209 |
| #4 | f1sh | 5 | 0.0227 |
| #5 | diejappie | 4 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vettie_007 | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | RootinTootinPutin | 51 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | diejappie | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sythe | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | f1shy | 29 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Penguin ♥ | +5.48 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | Sneazy | +4.62 | 68 | 40 |
| #3 | diejappie | +3.13 | 76 | 39 |
| #4 | Vettie_007 | +2.94 | 71 | 39 |
| #5 | Sythe | +2.68 | 77 | 45 |





