








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 696 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5466 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4754 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5166 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4998 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,706 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 527 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Penguin ♥ | 426 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | RootinTootinPutin | 209 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ish Le Avocado. | 189 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | ♥ f1shy ♥ | 182 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | f1sh | 141 | 0.13 | 2 min |





