








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2735 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2687 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2624 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2854 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,931 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4llwaysBad | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Zsumppi | 62% | 140 |
| #3 | Tonzzaz | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | lartza | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | SeksiB | 53% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zsumppi | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Tonzzaz | 5 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | SeksiB | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | RUMPPO | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | lartza | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zsumppi | 158 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | SeksiB | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | RUMPPO | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | 4llwaysBad | 79 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | lartza | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4llwaysBad | +2.95 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | Avokado | +1.22 | 66 | 33 |
| #3 | SeksiB | +1.06 | 43 | 72 |
| #4 | MiniTomaatti | +0.64 | 65 | 44 |
| #5 | BOT R2-D2 | +0.41 | 57 | 72 |





