








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Wingman | 114 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2440 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2166 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5231 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3856 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $879,239 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .js | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | GayLord of Darkness | 55% | 128 |
| #3 | Sqell | 51% | 74 |
| #4 | -]Pro[- | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | dny | 48% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ꧁༒☬Osiris☬༒꧂ | 47% | 30 |
| #7 | ★Tibufax | 45% | 113 |
| #8 | Michael G. | 41% | 29 |
| #9 | Yves Leon | 41% | 27 |
| #10 | sNatch | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Tibufax | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Michael G. | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Yves Leon | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | GayLord of Darkness | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | -]Pro[- | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Tibufax | 357 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | GayLord of Darkness | 148 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | .js | 143 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | dny | 122 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ꧁༒☬Osiris☬༒꧂ | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ginsel | +1.35 | 64 | 56 |
| #2 | -]Pro[- | +1.03 | 52 | 59 |
| #3 | ꧁༒☬Osiris☬༒꧂ | +0.84 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | dny | -0.25 | 41 | 70 |
| #5 | .js | -0.41 | 60 | 70 |





