








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 598 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1206 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2939 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3837 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4813 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,613,107 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | GayLord of Darkness | 46% | 500 |
| #10 | Michael G. | 44% | 152 |
| #11 | C4TVRIX | 42% | 48 |
| #12 | .js | 41% | 41 |
| #13 | Yves Leon | 38% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GayLord of Darkness | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | -]Pro[- | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ginsel | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Her Jett | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Michael G. | 2 | 0.0006 |





