








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3812 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3430 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3682 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1282 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,285,580 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NamiRia- | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Fabsn | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | sp1cker | 51% | 104 |
| #4 | Dagobert_Donnerschlag | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | Kuwai | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yong Cockus | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | sp1cker | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Fabsn | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Kuwai | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | n9ne | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n9ne | 261 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | sp1cker | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Yong Cockus | 153 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dagobert_Donnerschlag | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fabsn | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grouchy Smurf | +1.83 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | Kuwai | +1.43 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | sp1cker | +1.32 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | Podbot | +1.30 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | n9ne | +0.67 | 63 | 58 |





