








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 242 | 40% |
| Smokes | 159 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 105 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 98 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,722 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | NixInTheNight | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Outer Spectrum Creature | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | Rev | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | captain goon | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | NixInTheNight | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Outer Spectrum Creature | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | Rev | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | captain goon | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rev | 10 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Outer Spectrum Creature | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | J | 5 | 0.0340 |
| #4 | NixInTheNight | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | captain goon | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Outer Spectrum Creature | 81 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rev | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | captain goon | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | J | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | NixInTheNight | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rev | +5.38 | 66 | 43 |
| #2 | J | +1.61 | 59 | 43 |
| #3 | Outer Spectrum Creature | -0.75 | 53 | 43 |
| #4 | captain goon | -1.95 | 31 | 27 |
| #5 | NixInTheNight | -2.23 | 35 | 12 |





