










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 678 | 17% |
| Smokes | 947 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1390 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 962 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,569 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuri | 67 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | Frenky | 61 | 0.0205 |
| #3 | 2 way slashing playmaker | 44 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | Turkey Hater | 39 | 0.0149 |
| #5 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 35 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2 way slashing playmaker | 379 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Frenky | 252 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Turkey Hater | 222 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kuri | 182 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 159 | 0.05 | 3 min |





