








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




298 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7359 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7744 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6829 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2151 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,248,903 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyPsychic | 60% | 85 |
| #2 | Chuckie | 56% | 142 |
| #3 | UhSeem | 53% | 137 |
| #4 | zeph | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Ms.Explicit | 47% | 598 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhop | 670 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Chuckie | 445 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | UhSeem | 419 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ms.Explicit | 395 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #5 | Chicken | 201 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeph | +5.36 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | Chicken | +4.28 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | Chuckie | +4.05 | 76 | 48 |
| #4 | CrazyPsychic | +2.79 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | UhSeem | +2.56 | 54 | 54 |





